Why adults have affairs?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since ancient times. Affairs can be burdened with problems, cause despair, and other problems. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual background, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, adult dating for merried.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek an extramarital affair. I suppose generally though it is only the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against married dating. For many individuals the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, very big truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just grown distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.